When 58-year-old G. Siripala, a Sri Lankan prisoner serving a 10-year sentence for theft, was escorted by armed prison officials to Colombo’s National Hospital with severe back pain, doctors rushed him for an X-ray. After X-rays were revealed, it turns out the inmate had stashed a phone in his rectum. Luckily for him, the phone was a piece of shit.
A 26-year-old UK woman, Claire Ormrod, has given birth twice in eight months – and the babies are not twins, The Daily Telegraph reported. “My (doctor) said I should have a termination; he said it would end up killing me and the baby, and that it wouldn’t be fair to put me through it,” said Ormrod. “But I said, no, straight out.” The father was unavailable to comment.
Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi spoke recently in defense of fascist dictator Benito Mussolini’s policies, including his decision to ally with Adolf Hitler. One policy Berlusconi adamantly disagreed with was Mussolini’s lack of government funded personal sex parties.
Prince Harry admitted he let his family down during his notorious romp in Las Vegas, when photographs were published around the world of him during a game of strip billiards in his hotel suite with a group of women he had met. In related news, Glee’s Chris Colfer has let his family down for NOT having a notorious romp in Las Vegas, playing strip poker with a group of girls.
The U.K.’s largest supermarket chain, Tesco, apologized to customers over the discovery of horse DNA in their frozen beef burgers. In related news, Motley Crue drummer, Tommy Lee apologized for leaving traces of horse DNA in all of his ex-girlfriends.
A Boeing 787 aircraft operated by All Nippon Airways (ANA) has made an emergency landing at Takamatsu airport in Japan. As of now, nobody is certain of the cause, but we know why…
31-year-old passenger Armina Babayan gave birth aboard a plane flying to Armenia this Saturday. After the newborn was subjected to the airline food and told of its eventual landing in Armenia, the baby wisely receded back into the womb.