Grad Student Majors in Life Delay

grad studentAfter much contemplation, newly enrolled graduate student, Rick Grable, has decided to major in Life Delay. While the specific program is fairly new to the college that wishes to be anonymous, the foundation from which it was created has been around for some time.

The program consists of a core curriculum of electives, an online bartenders course, and a weekly one-on-one session with a professional psychiatrist.

“I was going to major in business or economics, but I figured they’d just bore me and I don’t even know if that’s what I want to do,” said Grable. “Now that I’ve found the perfect curriculum, I can focus on delaying the inevitable mundane life that awaits me, without having to explain to my ex-girlfriend that this is the best I can do.”

Like most Ivy League colleges, the program steers clear of “grades,” instead relying heavily on attendance and outrageous tuition fees.

“We feel the student should surround himself with a constant state of delay, and should continue his or her studies as long as is financially possible,” says Dean Prager.

Given the instant popularity of the program, the anonymous college is already laying out plans for its Master’s Program.


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